Walking Away from Society’s Blueprint for Adulthood… Life Update Part 2

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Previously in “Graduating College with No Plan: Life Update Part 1“:

So, the Lord, I believe, called me to a season of rest.

He needed my attention, my time and energy, in a different way than I’d been able to offer while in school.

I have sensed His stirring in my heart. A weird sort of restlessness. He’s doing some work that I can’t quite identify yet. I don’t know what He’s leading me to. But I know that to prepare for it, I need to learn to be still, to be quiet, to release my grip on what I think my life will look like and to trust Him without any plan of my own.

It’s very freeing on my end.

But this means that when people ask what I’m doing next or what kind of work I’m going to do, and I tell them, very casually and cooly, “I don’t know”, I get many looks of concern…

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While I don’t agree with every idea spoken of in this podcast, I do identify with many points.

Almost everything I’ve been trying to explain to people since graduating, when I am asked about my plans etc., are covered in this podcast. If you have the time, I’d encourage you to give it a listen.

A quick summary:

There’s a lack of clarity in regard to what you’re supposed to do after you complete school, a natural part of quarter-life; every generation has gone through it, and the transition is hard for every generation.

Going from dependency in childhood to independence in adulthood is complicated, and the respect and guidance that should be offered are severely lacking for young adults today.

Students are expected to come out of school, get a job, and then manage life with no breaks or vacation despite being brought-up one way for all of coming-of-age: getting at least three months off every year for summer break. Suddenly, you’re in a career and you have no time to engage in a life outside of work.

“Joining the real world” is now synonymous with perpetual stress and no rest. Society, and older adults, are expecting people to want to jump into this game, and become confused when we struggle to find enthusiasm for that.

It’s becoming less common for people to not feel pressured all the time.

Many students exit college feeling a bit underwhelmed, because they still crave practical skills that they failed to receive during their formal education. We shouldn’t be finishing four or more years of schooling and then having to ask ourselves, “now what?”

As a society, we take so much pride in independence, but to the detriment of family; there is shame attached to staying/living with your family as you enter young adulthood. Why?

There are two primary goals in quarter life: stability/safety, and meaning and purpose. Both of these concepts are vague and extremely specific to the individual, and must be worked out through life experience; we can’t know what we want or what we don’t want until we allow the natural process of life’s trial and error to unfold.

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So, yes, some people seem concerned that I don’t have a solid plan or roadmap for my life.

They are concerned that I don’t have a “real” job.

They seem to think I must be mooching off my family or accumulating debt because how could I support myself without a formal, full-time income?

Well, I’ll tell you how, and it’s really very simple:

My current lifestyle and circumstances do not require that I have a full-time income.

I have created a lifestyle for myself, and strive to maintain it in the future, that doesn’t require I retain a miserable full-time job to sustain poor spending or financial habits or to maintain an overdone, excessive, stuff-filled life.

I don’t want a career, don’t feel compelled to have one. I never have. And so I’m not going to force myself into that just because that’s what everyone else does.

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Why am I not jumping feet-first into this adulthood that our society seems to really endorse but simultaneously dread and hate and suffer through, because ‘thats just how it goes’?

I’ve released myself from the obligation to get the typical mundane, life-sucking, full-time job our society/culture has conditioned us into thinking we have to pursue to live a successful life.

That’s not what I want, and the life I live, now and in the future, does not require that form of income so badly that I will sacrifice all my time and dreams just to earn a set amount of money that is immediately spent on bills and obligations.

I am unapologizing… to myself mostly.

Why am I concerned about disappointing people, of falling short of mans’ expectations? Because that’s a good thing! I want to please God, not people; this often requires going against the grain.

I don’t want a full-time job and a part-time life.

I want to work to live, not live to work.

I want to work to sustain and support my life, not live to sustain and support a job.

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You know, up until recently, peoples’ confusion- genuine puzzlement- about my life decisions has bothered me a little.

What’s so hard to understand?

Why is the concept of rest such a foreign one to people that it would be cause for concern?

But now, I’m realizing that although not the ideal response, confusion is okay. Good, even. Because it gets the wheels spinning. It makes people consider the concept, envision slowing down, and desire something similar for themselves.

I think we would all benefit from slowing down. We are not meant go hard all the time.

That’s what I want my life to be: a slow, intentional one.

I am pursuing an unhurried life.

And I know that cannot happen if I jump into our society’s never-ending, full-time rat race.

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rat race: any exhausting, unremitting, and usually competitive activity or routine, especially a pressured urban working life spent trying to get ahead with little time left for leisure, contemplation, etc.

~Dictionary.com

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Allow me to be the one to remind you that stillness does not equal inactivity.

And I am not doing nothing with my time, I assure you.

Perhaps people feel concerned because they think that by resting I’m somehow quitting, flushing my degree and hard work away for nothing, and not fulfilling my potential; that the last four years were a waste because I’m not “using my degree”, although this reveals a gross misunderstanding and just goes to show they don’t know me all that well.

Does anyone ever stop to consider, though, that by resting, waiting, seeing the Lord’s guidance, and responding to His promptings- which I can do better in stillness and quiet- that that sets me up to more greatly fulfill my potential over time (even if in the near future) than jumping into a path/decision right away and having to double-back and reevaluate countless times?

Quite frankly, I think that way I’m doing things is more efficient than the alternative.

Perhaps it should be considered that the entirety of my potential will never be (and should never be) determined by my employment status or job title. That’s not where my potential lies because that is not where my priorities are rooted.

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I am learning to rest assured in the loosening of my grasp on what I think my life should look like, knowing the God is faithful and capable in directing and equipping me for the road ahead.

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