My Will Undone

There is a quote by Elisabeth Elliot, that seems to have been lingering in my mind the last several months, that reads:

A challenging thought, I will say. Convicting.

For how often do we say with our mouths, ‘God have your way’, but then continue to whisper in our hearts all the conditions we require before full surrender and obedience.

May we not be like the Israelites, who the Lord says, “come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me” (Isaiah 29:13).

As time goes on, there are more and more people in my life that require I pray the hard prayers.

The “whatever it takes, Lord” prayers.

The prayers that ask the Lord to allow a level of fresh pain and brokenness in a life, that one may be forced to bow low and recognize their condition of sin and stain, unworthy yet in desperate need.

“‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Submit yourselves, then, to God…Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” ~James 4:7a, 10.

There is a reason God invites us to humble ourselves, a gracious opportunity to avoid what we so often interpret as heavy-handed, perhaps even unloving discipline. We are prompted to bow ourselves low. God is abundantly capable of humbling us Himself, but knows we probably won’t like the methods He chooses to refine us. So in His grace, He gives us a chance to correct ourselves.

In my prayers recently, the Holy Spirit brought to mind the thought that when we pray ‘thy will be done’ and that God do or allow whatever necessary to bring someone to salvation,

we should also pray for strength for ourselves to endure

the consequences, the blowback, the trial that may very well accompany the process.

The people we pray hard things for are often those very close to us relationally; so naturally if hard/bad things happen to them, those things will likely touch our lives as well, stretching and challenging us in unexpected ways,

and requiring that we be prepared to fight in a battle that is not directly our own.

I ask: Lord, do what You have to do for salvation to take place. If need be, use each of us, however necessary, to save this lost soul.

This feels as though I’m inviting hurt or loss to come and disturb our lives, as if I am offering myself up and giving permission for God to do what He must with me, regardless. Not that He needs permission.

And though we don’t always realize it, isn’t this what we’re offering when we pray “whatever it takes”?

Because “whatever it takes” is never a simple thing, it never touches just one person.

“Whatever it takes”, at its core, is making yourself available to suffering.

It is a form of self-sacrifice.

It may require that the Lord take me Home, or take something from me as well as from who I am praying for, in order for His glory to be revealed.

“Whatever it takes” isn’t just a scary prayer because it forces us to release an individual into the Lord’s hands, but because it forces us to put ourselves there, too.

It forces us to remember that our lives are always in His hands.

Whatever it takes.

This includes sickness, death, trial, loss, division, consequences of sin, brokenness…and because we are friends, because we are family, “whatever it takes” by its very nature, will be required to touch us as well, even if only indirectly, even if only as witnesses.

Still that can be trying, and so in praying “whatever it takes” may we also pray for strength to endure, peace to clear our minds, and for His grace to carry us on the days and nights we’re too exhausted.

There’s war happening right now for our souls. We are included in a battle we can’t always see with our eyes; the figurative target on our back shows up when we decide whose side we’re on and follow Jesus.

It gets bigger when we pray “whatever it takes” that our loved ones may come to know truth.

With this in mind we must properly equip and armor ourselves, staying close behind our Defender, and readying our hearts for how we may be involved in “whatever it takes”.

“Whatever it takes” requires that our will be undone.

Though of course it can also include blessing, it seems that trial is a much more effective tool for our stubborn hearts. Blessing, unlike trial, doesn’t break us in the way that is necessary to ensure the Lord is the only one who can put us back together, to rebuild us.

“Whatever it takes” requires submission of ourselves and our plans and our striving.

It requires empty hands, a loose grip on whatever we are offering to the Lord.

We can’t fight the battles well when our arms are full-up of unnecessary and unhelpful baggage.

Let us lay it all down that we may free our hands to raise up in prayer and worship, the only posture sure to bring victory and strength in the midst of our weakness, and so we may hold-up others’ arms when they become weary in the midst of their fight (Exodus 17:10-13), that His will be done.