Life Interrupted: Coronavirus and Finding Freedom in Our Lack of Control
Dear friend,
I don’t know about you, but this is not what I envisioned when I considered how 2020 was going to play-out. Though it’s still early in the year, and things are changing every day, there is potential for this to linger for months.
I didn’t plan for a weird virus causing a global pandemic. In fact, I will admit that in the beginning, before the severity of this situation was realized in America, I was one that was mocking the anticipation of this being a potential problem for our country; I felt it was being blown way out of proportion, but it turns out the information and warning was flooding our minds before the reality of sickness was flooding our homes. I want to apologize for this.
I didn’t plan on upping my routine of homebody-ness (I know, not a real word) and staying at home more than I already do, going out only to supplement my grocery supply.
I didn’t plan on having to be hyper-aware of my interactions and my hand-washing. I didn’t plan on my pre-existing goal to touch my face less being reinforced by a heightened concern about germs (my motivation started as a desire to prevent premature wrinkles/aging, as I am 23 going on 80, and these are the obscure things that occupy my mind at any given time).
I didn’t plan on finding pride in doing my due diligence in preventing its growth, hunkering down and doing my best to create a routine at home, or in feeling so united with neighbors near and far because we’re all being impacted by this. It’s touching us all differently, but it’s still touching us all.
No, my plans for this year looked a little bit different.
And while my plans have not changed, the timeline for them occurring has definitely been pushed-back.
This is likely the position you’re in, too.
This virus has seemed to put the whole world on hold.
Life has been interrupted.
Our plans and priorities have been forced to shift.
Our privilege has been exposed by many things during this season, but mostly due to the simple fact that our health is something that we are able to prioritize in the first place.
Many feel anxious because everything seems so out of control, and we literally have to take this day-by-day. Maybe this is you, and the lack of certainty surrounding your job and income, or your family’s health, or insert your worry here is overwhelming to you. You just don’t know what’s going to happen, and you can’t do anything about it.
Decisions are being made for us for the time-being. Things feel a bit chaotic; we can’t predict how much longer this is going to last, we can’t know where it will end up or the impact that it will have; new information is coming to us constantly, and every day brings updates and changes, but not necessarily that changes we hoped for. We don’t know what tomorrow will look like, or next week, or next month. And that’s a little unsettling.
Friend, may I offer you a gentle reminder that has brought me much comfort during these chaotic times?
We are never in control.
Our plans are meaningless, because planning requires attempting to foresee what the coming days are going to hold. So really, we can never plan for anything, because you just never know what circumstances will come to interrupt your life.
Now, you may be thinking, what the heck, Katie, that’s not comforting at all, why do you think that is helpful?
Well, because when I take the time to remember that I am not- never have been, never will be- in control, it shifts my attention back to the One who is.
God is in control.
God, who, like the song says, holds the whole world in His hands, is here.
He is with us, and though He may not be orchestrating this disease and suffering, He is allowing it and He is overseeing it, and He can and will use it for His glory.
God is still God, even over coronavirus.
He is still good, He is still sovereign, and He is still faithful.
We must remember this always.
We must know it in our minds, but most importantly we must know it in our hearts.
Because, it is the. most. freeing. knowledge you can imagine.
Deep trust is built through two things: relationship and remembrance.
In order for trust to blossom between people, there first has to be a relationship.
Then, in order for that trust to grow, to take root and become established, it is necessary that we remember why that person is trustworthy; we must remember how they have shown themself to be dependable and faithful to us in the past. We must look back at the times when trust was necessary (this almost always includes some sort of uncertainty) and recall how it was built.
We can trust God in the midst of this trial and uncertainty because He has proven Himself trustworthy. He has shown Himself faithful.
How do I know this?
Because I am right here. Because He has brought me this far. Because I look back and see the journey we’ve taken together, and see that He has never wavered in His goodness.
Sure, I may not understand His methods or His timing, but that doesn’t mean squat. God’s sovereignty is not dependent on my degree of understanding. And my understanding of His methods is not a prerequisite to receiving His peace.
So yes, acknowledging my lack of control is freeing.
It removes a weight that I have placed on my own shoulders, a burden that I am not meant to carry.
It allows me to let things go, to lay things down and free myself to embrace the things and the people that God has already placed in front of me, rather than distractedly reaching reaching reaching for the things that are just beyond my grasp.
This freedom comes through realizing that this lack of control isn’t some new thing, but is just a magnification and reminder of our everyday reality.
We lack control over every single day, every single moment. It’s just that usually, things still work out the way we hope, and so it often feels like we’re the ones calling the shots.
But when we are offered opportunities such as this, to slow down and reevaluate, it is a graceful reminder that God is taking care of it and we don’t have to try and manipulate or shape or force an outcome. We’re scrambling to try and take care of ourselves, when He has already promised to meet all our needs.
We don’t need to panic when things are beyond our control, and we don’t need to worry about losing control, because we never had it to begin with
I like thinking about the idea that maybe the earth just needed a break, a chance to reset a bit, and us along with it.
I know here in America, our isolation and suffering is very small compared to other places around the world. And yet, I keep seeing and hearing people say, “We’re all in this together.”
In this time of unprecedented crisis, people are coming together.
Our country has been struggling with a lot of division in recent months. Everything is weaponized to create strife and tension, and it’s hard having a conversation about anything without having to fear offending someone.
But, unity can always be found in times of crisis.
Always.
Whether it’s destruction through natural disaster, loss due to criminal violence, or suffering due to medical emergencies, communities come together and people support each other in kindness when they can look past their differences to see that we are all walking the same road.
So if this pandemic is what it takes to get our attention and reprioritize, then I welcome it. If this is what it takes to make us lean harder on the Lord, that’s fantastic. If this is what it takes to get real work done, treat people like people, and care about something and someone other than ourselves, then so be it.
We have the enormous privilege of leading relatively easy lives; I think we take that for granted.
Let’s not take that for granted anymore.
Let this be the push we need to live more purposeful, more intentional, and more appreciative lives, understanding their fragility and their temporary nature.
Let this be the reminder we need to always grasp our plans loosely and not place our hope in the things of this world.
Because God is bigger and He is in control, even when life is interrupted.