Faithful Over Fruitful: Content with the Providence of God

Previously on Grace Upon Grace:

When I am so lonesome that my heart seems to physically ache; when my empty arms feel burdened by the children I have not been given to hold and care for; when the vision of my future that I see in my mind with frightening clarity is obscured by tears welling up in my eyes because it seems so impossible at this point…

It’s in these moments- these moments of fear that by God not giving me what I want He’s also somehow keeping me from what I need– that I must repent and ask Him for forgiveness and fresh strength to trust Him. 

It’s an odd thing to consider being burdened by lack. When empty arms can feel so, so heavy.

Weary, Wanting, Waiting

Over the course of the last month or so I’ve been intermittently combating some frustration and discouragement in my heart. There were several contributing factors, but I think a main one was simply frustration at my frustration and discouragement about my discouragement. I’ve been grappling with the separation between what I say and what I do.

I say that I trust the Lord. But my attitude had not been reflecting that.

Now I can try and justify myself by explaining that I have been grieving over some things (which I have been), or that I’ve just been questioning, reflecting, introspecting (if that’s a word)- but there’s a fine line between allowing space for those things while resting confidently in God’s sovereignty, and allowing space for those things to scootch me ever so slowly toward resentment because I question why His answer to my prayers was still “not yet”.

Since my previous blog post, quoted above, I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea that by God not giving me what I want He’s also somehow keeping me from what I need.

That’s been heavy on my heart since I shared it (and I know it’s a big, Big LIE) and I am so thankful. It’s been helping me check my attitude.

Do I trust the Lord or not?

Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing (Psalm 34:10).

So, what we don’t have now, we don’t need now.

But what we need is often different from what we want. Oftentimes we will not get the things we want in life- and we’re better for it. Because the Lord knows best.

We’re also told earlier in Psalm 23:1 that “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” The NIV translates “I shall not want” as “I lack nothing”.

God will not keep us from anything we have need of. Anything. Because He is our good shepherd. He Himself meets all our needs.

This previous Sunday, our Pastor was teaching on 1 Corinthians 3:1-9.

There were a couple principles he shared that were encouraging reminders for me in this season:

As God is Sovereign and we are His servants, He assigns us to our tasks. He assigns the field and the fruit, and so none of us (specifically church members, in the context of this passage) should engage in jealousy or strife, as we are not rewarded for the fruitfulness of our efforts but for our faithfulness to our assigned task.

We are to be faithful to this task and season God has assigned to us, and be content in His providence.

(Thanks, Pastor Tim.)

As I was reflecting on this after church, I was reminded that in God’s economy there is no wasted time and there is no lack.

We need not think He’s working within a scarcity mindset like ones we so often struggle with as humans.

God’s blessing someone else does not take from, or leave less for, me. Someone else’s success does not equal my failure. As the saying goes, “Until it is my turn, I will keep clapping for others.” I pray I will maintain this sentiment.

God’s resources, His “pie” is endless- and someone else’s receiving a generous serving still leaves exactly enough for me, exactly as much as the Lord intends for me to have.

I don’t need to try and hoard the Lord’s blessings. I don’t need to try and gather them for myself before their time.

I don’t need to try and keep His gifts to me for myself.

I pray that He would help me to give myself away in service to Him.

Our hearts and our attitudes within our circumstances are just as important, if not more so than the circumstances themselves. Heart over hustle, friends.

Let’s us be faithful within our own field, blooming where we are planted , and let God take care of the rest.

God, help us to live out these coming weeks and months with fresh confidence in who You are. May we confidently trust You, and find peace and rest in You, knowing You take good care of Your children.