2019 in One Word

I’m not typically someone who chooses a word for their year.

I’m sure you all know that many people will select a word that they want to represent the upcoming year, as a sort of theme, or to represent an overall goal or attitude they want the new year to hold.

While I have never been one of those people, the last couple years as I have reflected back on each year, that is when a word will come to me that seems to sum up what that year held, symbolically or literally.

This year, since about late summer, one theme for 2019 was very prominent to me.

This theme seems to have been as much a mindset shift as it has been a literal, physical change in my life. And it is a mindset I am bringing with me into 2020, and I hope the rest of my life because I think it’s a good one.

If I had to choose one word to describe 2019, it would be:

REFINE

to free from impurities or unwanted material; to improve or perfect by pruning or polishing; to make improvement by introducing subtleties or distinctions

This year has been one of refining: of improving, and eliminating distractions, of figuring out what I want and don’t want in all areas of my life.

When I think of refining, though, the first understanding that always comes to my mind is how the Lord refines our hearts and lives when we are in relationship with Him.

Living in this fallen world, we are dead to sin if we are in Christ, but sin is not dead. And so, we must allow the Lord to cleanse us, to purify and refine our hearts always. Only then can we become more like Him. The Bible speaks on refining in many places, but here are a few verses that emphasize this idea well.

“But He knows the way that I take; When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.” ~Job 23:10 (NKJV)

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perished even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” ~1 Peter 1:6-7 (NIV)

“Therefore thus says the Lord of hosts: ‘Behold, I will refine them and test them, for what else can I do, because of my people?'” ~Jeremiah 9:7 (ESV)

“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” ~Isaiah 48:10 (NIV)

“For You, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined. You brought us into the net; You laid affliction on our backs. You have caused men to ride over our heads; We went through fire and through water; But You brought us out to rich fulfillment.” ~Psalm 66:10-12 (NKJV)

I pray always that the Lord is at work in my heart, refining me, to better represent and glorify Him.

But this year especially, I know because of important decisions that needed to be made, I feel He has broadened and strengthened my heart toward Him. He has drawn me close and held me tight as He revealed His faithfulness over and over.

More than anything, in these past months, the Lord has refined my heart. As I have drawn near to Him, He has revealed the once subtly hidden places of:

pride,

and resentment,

and fear,

and envy,

and doubt…

among other things.

And I thank Him for it. Because we won’t ever get better in the future if we don’t recognize our shortcomings and struggles now. Sanctification is…impossible, really, when we don’t understand why we need to be sanctified.

Now, I’m not saying I’ve never had to address these things in my heart before, or that they’re taken care of forever now. I’ve had to deal with these things many times in the past as they related to other circumstances, and I know I will have to deal with them again in future seasons of life. Refining is never a one-and-done process.

I pray, and praise, that God will continue to allow circumstances that will reveal my sin, as that is the only way to have any hope of eliminating it, through repentance and correction.

While my heart has certainly been softened and strengthened, with that all other areas of my life are being refined as well: my diet, my wardrobe, my priorities and dreams and how to go about achieving those, my habits and routines…

All these things are in the midst of being tweaked and modified and improved, so that they may become just exactly what I want and need- for now. I’ve been working to make all I have exactly what I need- in this season.

And that’s the thing about refining: its an ongoing process, always changing and dependent on the season.

…because *every day* what we need could vary drastically.

Just when I think I have everything exactly as I want it, exactly how it will serve me best (especially in regards to material possessions, like clothes), my attention is drawn toward something and I think, “Well, actually, maybe if it was more like this…”

This has recently been causing me to feel very fickle. Because it seems as though I just can’t find contentment with things as they are.

And there my heart is even further refined; how gracious the Lord is in dealing with me. It is when I get frustrated with myself throughout these days that I so appreciate God’s patience and gentleness in allowing me to learn these lessons.

As much as I crave to be able to decide on how I want something and then stick with it, I’m learning that’s just not always realistic. And so while trying to become more disciplined, I also have to cut myself slack as I am growing and continuing to learn about my current wants and needs.

We must realize that what we want, or what we think we need, is irrelevant in the long-term. When you begin to understand that, it is quite humbling.

While all of these material/physical things are important for now, eternally they are insignificant.

And so we must learn to grasp them loosely.

It is our heart and soul that are of eternal significance. These are the things we must dedicate time and energy into nurturing and refining. These are what the Lord cares about because their health is a reflection of the health of our relationship with Him.

Let us not shrink back from the refining fire that the Lord may ask us to walk through, that our lives may become wholly honoring to Him and illustrative of His righteousness and faithfulness.

In the coming weeks, I will be sharing about the different areas of my life that are also going through this refining process.

Tell me in a comment, are you someone who chooses a word for each year? What is your word for 2020, and how is it different from years past? Or are you more like me in that a word comes to you as you reflect back over the previous months?

Thanks for reading!

xoxoxo,

Katie